MOTHER ON A TETHER
by v.s.gopalakrishnan
She was called Sarasa, short for Saraswathi. Never hold...
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MOTHER ON A TETHER
by v.s.gopalakrishnan
She was called Sarasa, short for Saraswathi. Never holding a veena, not carrying swathes of Vedic manuscripts in one of her four hands, and never seated near a peacock. But she was wisdom and arts. A clever Tanjorean with joie de vivre and savoir faire, unlike my father from North Arcot, naive and trusting, dreaming and faltering.Arts-wise, she was a singer though she never went near the A.I.R. unlike her sister Jaya (the heroine in the film 'Sivakavi').Jaya Periyamma would tell me:"Your mother and I sang standing near Gandhiji, at the huge Madras public gathering.She was only moving her lips and I was the real one who sang!" Sibling rivalry even past 60!
The women in my family, I mean my mother and two sisters, knew little English. That was not important for them.But having the 'European complexion'was the thing to want.They were blessed with it.Bright and shiny after a bath and chandan-like at dawn and ivory-like at dusk.All the invaders,I think, mingled into their blood -the Greeks,Parthians, Sakas,Huns and what not.
Like Jane Austen would have thought,the three women were always highly eligible,simply for their looks and skin-colour! Music was a must. My Kappu Chithi (Mausi, not mousy!) was an AIR veena player.When one of her strings snapped,she sobbed and I could hear that on the radio.They (AIR) then used filler music for the remaining time! And accomplished cooking was a must.These were trappings for trapping husbands!
My father was a bit darkish but the fact that he was Rangoon-based and he was into good business (you guessed it-export of teak and rice)compensated for that.A handsome husband is a liability since he would attract the bees.My father's side had no culture, not even agriculture.They were into reading newspapers and books only.In fact, my father would read 'The Hindu' for the entire day, from the first word to the last, including the advertisements and matrimonial columns!
Mothers' Day! What rubbish! They never even observed their own birthdays.They probably even forgot their birthdates and there was no wedding anniversary.Every day was perhaps an anniversary day, and that should be obvious by counting the six children and the lost ones (two in fact, one from untimely abortion and another from diphtheria, the child-killer in those days).
Giving presents was considered if not barbaric,a bourgeois practice(of 'lumpen' bourgeoisie, why not?)!
Life was lived on love and thin air.
And what mothers those days, my God! Boiling hot water poured on your tender 4 month old body,under the guise of bathing! Castor oil thrust down your gullet every third month, to flush your system.Any resistance to such tyranny was total taboo.You were fully starved of food till 3 pm, waiting for your bowels and worms to get all cleared.Who will give presents to such mothers?
Today's mothers deserve gifts -- for letting the children wander,for giving them carte blanche,for pampering them with electronics (like cell phone and i-Pod), for letting them enjoy unchecked laissez-faire.This is what perhaps the children think.No gifts for boiling water and castor oil!
(by dr.v.s.gopalakrishnan ph.d., ias retd.)
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Hi Sara,
Many thanks for your touching comments. I know Sara goes weepy weepy and is senti and all that! You always have the best words to say. Your lack of ego and total empathy for others do make you special.
Well, my write here might seem somewhat superficial, and non-deferential to the mothers of yore. So, I have written a sequel to this, elaborating more on my mother's life and our love for her. You might like that too.
Yes, people on my mother's side of the family became famous. My mother had to, of course, share her fortunes with her husband only. My parents went through a very very tough time, thanks to the Japs. But we siblings are proud of our achievements that were possible only due to their attention to us and their own sacrifices.
I have no bitterness towards the past. The ups and downs in life taught us many lessons. In fact, I often reflect on the past with pride and sweet nostalgic feelings. Goodly virtues and academic excellence came naturally to us when we were young. Those were lovely days despite the hardships.
Voila, what you have said about the disadvantages suffered by girls compared to guys even today, are true. Societal norms and social reforms change or march at a slow pace.
Avec tous mes egards
vs gopal
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Hi Rama Raogaru,
I knew these bullets would come at me from you, and therefore I have taken anticipatory bail with a sequential article on my mom!
cheers
vs gopal
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Hi Nidhana,
Romba nanree. Fathers are soft towards their daughters, and so you had managed to over-rule your father!
cheers
vs gopal
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Thanks Swarajya,
You are right! The castor oil which removes 'kachadaa' from the body must have been responsible for my integrity in service too!
vs gopal
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dictionaries r a boon 4 lykes of me........don wanna bug u n ask iska meaning kya hai n all.............ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nw ikno y u asked me 4 ma full name
ur ritings makes me have mah mouth widen 2 say da 3 letters WOW N mah ice go pop_ ied
so 2 speak...................loveli n veriiiiiiiiiiiiiiii impressive famili u have Gopalji..................does t make u say those were dah rosy days or wud u say gone r dose taken 4 granted days
Sara
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V-S-Gopal garu,
Ur mother with all loving care gave u the hot water baths and administered the castor oil regularly and therby sharpened ur intellect and nurtured ur talents to make a fine end product. Instead of thanking her for all that she did u r whining! Today's mothers give plenty of gifts because they r available and were not when u were a kid. simple as that.
Ur lament that the mothers of old days didn't desrve presents shows u r ungrateful.
Ramarao.
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Mr.Gopal, Your writings are so interesting to read. Had a good laugh reading about castor oil experience. I have been threatened by my father many times, (for disobedience!!) but he never did succeed, bless him!!
Bright and shiny after a bath and chandan-like at dawn and ivory-like at dusk - that is so poetic and lovely description
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Nice nostagia of past days.Except for the hot water bath and a castor oil treatment ,I am sure your mother did everything to see you a writer , a painter, a singer and master of many trades.
Happy Mother's Day belatedly.
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Thanks Scribbly for remembering a brother on mom's day!
cheers
vs gopal
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happy mom's day and happy blogging.
cheers//
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