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NO MORE 'JI' FOR ME PLEASE (humour)

May 3 2008 | Views 589 | Comments (54)

NO MORE 'JI' FOR ME PLEASE (humour) by dr.v.s.gopalakrishnan ph.d., ias retd. For a "... Expand

NO MORE 'JI' FOR ME PLEASE (humour)

by dr.v.s.gopalakrishnan ph.d., ias retd.

For a "Thiru" fellow from Chennai as I am, 'ji' sounds horrific, not an honorific. I have acquired this 'ji' epithet after coming to sulekha. The only 'ji's permissible for a Tamilian are Rajaji, Netaji and Gandhiji. Sardar Patel is simply Sardar Patel. Jinnah can never be Jinnahji.

Surely, the world's names float on a lot of suffixes and prefixes. In my personal life, I have had many of them. As a child and later a boy, I was called 'Baby'. Even now my uncle Thiru S.Rajam, all of 90 years, says, "Ennadaa, Baby?". Oh God, past 60 and I am still a baby! When I finished school and entered college, I issued a gentle firman to all my relatives as distant as the exploding novas, and of course through my dad and mom, that they had better call me or refer to me simply as'Gopal', as baby is a taboo for a college-goer.

My wedding day brought in new epithets for me. The most common expression for a Catholic-Convent educated girl is "don't be stupid". All the emphasis is on the third word, namely, 'stupid'. Sometimes, 'don't be' is somewhat gulped, and I used to hear only "stupid" with a lot of sweet venom in it. So, 'stupid' is what you get for saying "darling, let us go out for dinner, and you tell me where". The wifey's "don't be stupid" really means "hubby, you conserve your meagre government salary for a rainy day, and I am here to cook for you". Such wonderfully sweet and altruistic feelings are conveyed to me in the expression "stupid"! My heart used to break in agony from wounded ego, for a bread-winner being called 'stupid', particularly someone seven years older, in reply to a charitable proposition!

"Sudda Makku" * was an honorific reserved for me by my wifey for usage in the presence of outsiders. At least my clean-class (suddha) was not ignored. I did not mind 'Makku', as it is in Tamil language, my mother-tongue, and I come from North Arcot district whose inhabitants had a known reputation for being 'dull' and 'naive', if not dunderheads. Wifey's home town or rather her father's was Coimbatore which I remember for some hailstones falling from heaven during my only visit there in my life when I was not even in my teens.

I have no idea as to what has happened to 'dorai' in Chennai. It was a suffix used initially for the English masters in Chennai. It should rhyme with 'dosai' in pronunciation. So, you had Rippon dorai, Spencer dorai, Wellingdon dorai and others. An English tourist to Madras in 1940 took a city-tour on a hand-pulled rickshaw.As he passed by the impressive buildings such as the High Court, Moore Market, Central Station etc, he went on asking the poor rickshaw-puller, every time, "Who built this?" The puller replied every time "Theriley dorai". And there was a huge funeral procession on the roads. The Englishman asked the puller, "Who is dead?" The puller replied "Theriley dorai". Thereupon, the visitor jumped from the wagon and gave a bow to late Mr.Theriley dorai. (Theriley dorai means 'I don't know, sir')

And when the Britishers were gone, and only after they were gone, such is my suspicion, the 'dorai' address began to be bestowed on the Tamil brahmins by the 'menials' ( an English expression that I have heard only in old Madras). My father was being addressed 'Rangoon dorai' or 'Rangoon Iyer'. Later 'dorai' used to lose its coinage (currency?) as the brahmins were getting abused and undervalued by the Dravidas. The Brahmin dorai became 'Brahmin Aiyaa'. (Aiyaa is like Sir).The only exception ironically was the Dravida leader Anna-durai! He had become a dorai (same as durai) without being a White man or a brahmin. Anna is an elder brother. There are lots of Thambidurais in Madras/Chennai. (Thambi is younger brother).

The most frightening prefix for me is 'Thiru". I always associate that with 'Thirudan', meaning a thief. So, Thiru is a short form of thief. Wonderful!! All tamilians are thieves! And ladies are "Thirumathis". I take this as meaning "thief-minded". This is mens-rea, without the action of a thief. Really marvellous!!

Now, it is time I come back to my 'ji'. Why use 'ji'? The guilty were initially the Englishman of course. He made Chattopadhyaya into Chatterji, Bandopadhyaya into Bannerji etc (nothing to do with chattering and bannering). And now, implying respect, you would call them "Chatterjiji" and "Bannerjiji". How ridiculous! Amongst our gods,or rather the avatars, perhaps only Lord Rama became 'Ramji'. Krishna is however a bhagwan. Buddha is Lord. Kalki is un-epitheted. Kurma, Matsya, Varaha also don't have anything. Narasimha is Lord. Parashurama is Lord whereas Vamana is nothing.

I don't know where-all my thoughts have been digressing like googlies. Now, more than half of sulekha calls me Gopalji. I seem to you to object to it, right? Look! Someone rightly pointed to my (barbaric) usage of Ph.D., IAS retd etc with my name when we are all supposed to be equals. I know there are much humbler beings than me with a Ph.D. such as DMR Sekhar or Palahali. I tell people that there is a well known film journalist in Mumbai with my name. So, my 'Dr' helps to avoid confusion. But then am I a physician or a surgeon? So, Ph.D. comes in handy there. But then, of which University am I a Vice-chancellor?** No, sir. I was a 'bloody bureaucrat'! Then, why don't you use your IAS Retd.? Oh, God, this is an acutely appendix-giving story. Better cut out the story!

Poor Goddess Saraswati has bestowed on me some 'riches'. Why not acknowledge it? Anyway, we are all 'equals'. (And some are more equal than the others as per George Orwell's pigs in the Animal Farm, remember?). All this is needless digression.

Now, please call me Gopal. That is sufficient! No 'ji' please! Except those who are dyed-in-the-wool conscientious objectors. Except those who are babies. Ladies particularly had better note! Not that it makes me romantic. But it makes me equal. In age!

(v.s.gopalakrishnan)
*Sudda Makku means simple idiot.
** I did officiate as a Vice-Chancellor of a University.

PLEASE NOTE: Non Tamilians or rather "North Indians" are requested not to take anything in this article about 'ji' as a jibe. This is a pure 'maja' article. Haanji, theek hai??? Close

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Comments (54)

V-S-Gopal posted 2 mnths ago

Hi Anjala,

Many thanks.

Sorry, no recollection of the Sridevi movie ! I like 'ji' as perhaps the shortest label of respect in the whole world. But it is not a must-form for me or an expectation from me. Politeness towards me in any form will do. I (a BIG I there) would however like to use it to imply respect for others. (It is like some people like to give and not receive). This blog is mostly in jest.
cheers
vs gopal

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V-S-Gopal posted 2 mnths ago

Anna !
You have now post-graduated me from ji to Sir! Just Sircumstantial I think.
vs gopal

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anjala posted 2 mnths ago

Gopal,
A very enjoyable piece - had me chuckling...
In Madurai, where we stayed for some years, the WOG types used to be called Dorai :))

I was also reminded of that fun movie - I forget the name - where Sreedevi used to keep bleating Jagguji, Jagguji

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anna9 posted 2 mnths ago

honoured Sir , that you noticed :)

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V-S-Gopal posted 2 mnths ago

Hi anna9,
Thanks, but you have made me sound like a victory march or some Emperor Concerto or the Fifth Symphony or whatever..
Pl let me remain pastoral!
vs gopal

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anna9 posted 2 mnths ago

very nice ji , thank you ji , Gopal dorai ji :)

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V-S-Gopal posted 2 mnths ago

Hi Narensomu,
Can the female architect please change her identity for the better? Narensomu does sound nice, like an exotic Mysore food item ( sorry, no offense) but female names are so much nicer, right?

Thanks for your comments. Glad you smiled. Theriley Dorai story is very old, about 50 years at least! My school teacher amused himself by repeating it to us ad nauseum!

North Arcot being nearer to the blooming Chennai than many other districts, I am not surprised if in the last 25 years, the Arcottians have become smarter than Tanjorites or Trichiites!

But no need for you to worry. They are perhaps smarter in dress only!
cheers
vs gopal

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narensomu posted 2 mnths ago

Gopal -no-ji
Thanks for making me smile,
I never associated thiru with thirudan . From now on , I will.
Theriley Dorai's funny story is true or just leg-pulling of Dorais by the "natives"?
My in laws are from N Arcot and they all seem to be smarter than me. Now Iam really worried about myself.
Regards
ns